and you love this child, then you can be a good parent. here are many ways to enhancethe well being of your child if you simply apply yourselves as parents.+agginnis later states that, 'Boys who do not have fathers as male role models suffer especially(. #hile it is e-tremely important for a male child to have his father around, there are other ways of teaching a young boy the lessons he needs to become a man. I know from personal e-perience that what the author of this article is trying to convey is wrong. I never had my father around while growing up and I did in fact have many positive male role models. +y 5randfather was always there to help guide me as I slowly blossomed into a young man. nytime my mother had to work to support us, my grandparents, aunt’s, uncles and cousins would step up and provide the time and attentionI needed. herefore, I had the best support group I could have had as a young man. Being a child with a single mother had its benefits. lthough I came to find how hard it really was for her to always meet the needs of her child, she did the best &ob that she possibly could and gave me the knowledge that I needed to become a successful man without the guidance of my father.I did however have the e-perience of dealing with a step$parent. oday, twenty$ five percent of all merican children will spend at least some time of their growing$up years in a stepfamily. his seems fine for single parents because they feel like they can start over in a new relationship and receive help from their spouse both emotionally and financially. step$parent can cause confusion and emotional stress on the child since they have &ust had to ad&ust to only one parent and now have to ad&ust to a new parental figure stepping into the family role. nother factor of bringing a step$parent into a singlefamily’s life is new step$siblings to get along with. It might not be &ustified for a step$
I've been a single mom for four years now, and the job is every bit as gratifying as it is exhausting. Life after divorce is not how I envisioned parenting: the long nights up with sick kids and no hope of backup and the constant juggle of work and motherhood on one income.
But my little family with my 8-year-old and 10-year-old daughters is my greatest source of joy. Sure, there's no partner on hand to tell me after a difficult day that I'm doing a good job — but there's no one around to tell me I should be doing it any different, either. Along the way, I've learned a few things.
1. You alone are responsible.
Every time you pass that stray sock on the stairs that fell out of the laundry basket, you inexplicably hope that someone will pick it up for you. It will live there until you do it.
2. You can't threaten your kids with "wait until your father gets home!"
You're judge, jury, executioner. And then you become comforter of the very child you just scolded. It's complicated.
3. Nobody's eating the leftovers.
Those Tupperware containers in the fridge are one of many reminders that the man of the house is gone. Your notion of how much food to make is all out of whack. Soon you will stop making meals that have leftovers. Because without a husband to please, chicken nuggets for the kids and wine and a salad for you is a damn fine meal.
4. You get to use all of the closets.
Spread your clothes out. Let them breathe. The shower, too. All of those hair products you wanted to try, then couldn't throw out even though you didn't like them? There's room for all of them in the shower, because it's all yours now.
5. You can bring the catalogs inside.
When the catalogs arrive, chock full of tech gadgets or sports gear that you can't afford, you no longer have to hide them from your spouse. You can even let the kids cut them up to make a collage, then give that to daddy for Father's Day. Easy peasy.
6. Some broken stuff will stay broken.
The leaky faucet can be fixed by placing a bucket in the sink, then using the caught water for plants. The broken garage door that is holding your car hostage requires a repairman. Choose your battles.
7. There won't be any unexpected charges on the credit card statement.
You know exactly what you bought, and owe, because you're the only one shopping. Unless you aren't, and there's fraud protection for that. But mostly, your budget is yours.
8. The dog poop out back is all yours, too.
Talk about fun!
9. Sick days are brutal.
Sick kids mean not getting anything done as you comfort and care of them, trying to create remedies from the stuff on hand so that you don't have to take a sick child to the store, all while trying not to come in direct contact with them, because then you will become the sick one, and there is no backup to cover for you when you are ill. You get up with a fever and get the kids off to school. Because that's what single moms do. This will feel like hell at the time, but will in fact be all the proof you ever needed that you are an epic badass.
10. Resign yourself to smaller celebrations.
Kids can't buy extravagant birthday or mother's day gifts for you. Because you're the one who does all the shopping. And how do you take them shopping and pay for a gift without seeing what it is? So gifts aren't bought. They're made. Which means more anyway.
11. Vacations can be a challenge.
Navigating airports, lengthy flights, car rentals, and long car rides as a solo parent will seem too daunting to even consider. Do it anyway, just to prove to yourself that you can. And to show your kids how amazing you really are. Years later they won't remember that you forgot to take the liquids bag out at security and held up the whole line of cranky travelers, but they will remember swimming with you in the hotel pool and being the center of your universe for that moment.
Cassandra Dunn is the author of novel The Art of Adapting (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster).
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