Ask and you will receive; Seek and you will find; Knock and it will be opened to you.
Good Afternoon respected judge and dear friends.
The aforesaid words from the holy bible talk about how human attitudes make a difference and today, I wish to throw some light on the same.
What is attitude? As the dictionary defines it, attitude is a way of talking and behaving. However, its significance in our lives is much more.
Attitude is a way of life. We have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. As they say, the only difference between a good day and a bad day, is your attitude. We cannot change our past, or we cannot change the way certain people think. We cannot change what's inevitable.However, the only thing we can possibly change to deal with situations better, is our attitude.
Attitude determines outcome. This truth is accepted by most of the successful people of the world, whether it is a doctor going for a surgery, or a businessman launching a new venture. It is attitude that provides them the winning edge. Thus, a correct and a wilful attitude is the key to success.
Attitude reflects behaviour. One's attitude towards the other, determines the other's attitude towards him. If one smiles at the other, the other may smile back; while if one acts hard-nosed with the other, the other is likely to snap at him.
Man is the master of his own destiny. He can very well manipulate his grief or happiness, by choosing the correct attitude. With a positive outlook, he can overcome his grief with ease, and follow the pursuit of happiness. This can be justified with a famous quote:
"He, who has so little knowledge of human nature, as to seek happiness, by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts, and multiply the Â griefÂ he purposes to remove."
Hence, in a nutshell, attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than the money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes or reality.
I am strongly convinced that life is, only 10% of what happens to me, and 90% of how I react to it.
One thing that makes an incredible difference to your life is your attitude. But did you know there is actually at least one study that proves a positive attitude can actually lengthen your life? The Ohio Longitudinal Study of Aging and Retirement was carried out by Robert Atchley, PhD in Oxford, Ohio. Over 1,100 people over the age of 50 participated in the study. There were many follow ups during the years. In the 1990s Yale University Psychologist Becca Levy, PhD researched the answers of the participants and compared the answers with the average lifespan of those who completed the survey. She discovered that those who gave answers showing a positive attitude towards aging lived 7.6 years longer than those who didn’t.
If a positive attitude can help you live longer what else can it help you achieve? The answer is – almost anything!
Attitude is Everything
Your attitude can have a positive impact on many areas of your life such as:
- Your health
- Your happiness
- Your appearance
- Your success
- Your career
- Your social life
- Your confidence and self esteem
- Your family
- Your finances
The list above is far from complete but you get what I mean when I tell you that your attitude is everything. Just look at the world around you and compare those who have a positive attitude and those who always see the negative in everything. Who has a better life? Who is more successful? Who is happier?
So the question is – what is your attitude like? Are you optimistic or a negative person and how does that affect you?
To answer the above questions you need to talk to friends and ask them what they think then compare that with how you think you are. Once you get a real idea of how you approach life – positively or negatively – then you can think about what needs to change.
One important thing you need to consider carefully is how your actions and behaviour match your attitude. For example, if you believe you think negatively you need to not only change your attitude so you think more positively, you need to behave and act differently too. Just changing your attitude is not enough. First think about your attitude in different areas of your life such as those listed above in the previous section. Now think about how your attitude causes you to behave. If you had a more positive attitude what would you do differently?
There are two choices open to you:
1. change your negative attitude and hope that will change the way you act
2. change how you act and hope that will change your attitude
I think the best is to work on both but start with your attitude. What you are aiming for is for the two to be in balance – positive attitude and positive behaviour and action.
Inner Conflicts and Fear
One thing you probably need to work on is the inner conflicts going on in your mind which come from fear and start you thinking negatively. These conflicts are going on all the time causing you to be in a prison of negativity. So if you have read the above and want to know exactly what to do to set yourself free of these conflicts please read “The Untethered Soul” – all the answers you need are in there.
What do you want to change?
You have it in your power to change many things in your life. Some things of course are beyond your control and you must accept those things and concentrate on the things you can change. Once you decide what needs to be changed you can start to think about what you need to do to make those changes. Your positive attitude is vital for your motivation to change. So what do want to change about your attitude? Do you want more self confidence? If so, in what situations? What do you want more of in your life? Is it friends, is it love, is it more respect at work? What exactly is it?
Say you have a negative attitude towards your appearance and this is stopping you from living your life, getting out and meeting people. This is an attitude you should change. If you have a negative attitude towards yourself then your self esteem will suffer and others will have a negative attitude towards you too. Stop comparing yourself to others and realise you are truly unique. Likewise, confidence in yourself creates confidence in others and because others respond positively your self esteem will increase.
These beliefs exist because you have learnt them, so that means you can unlearn them. That is great news! If, for example, you want to change your thinking and become more positive you can do so because you have learnt the skill of being negative. So how do you do this? One of the most powerful ways to do this is to use self hypnosis. This is guaranteed to work because this is the same process you use to learn beliefs in the first place. Makes sense to use the same system to unlearn something and replace it with something more positive and helpful. To download an incredibly effective program which will help you develop a robustly positive attitude that will catapult you to success and happiness.
Look at the beliefs connected with your goals and make sure you consider what you think you deserve, if you are capable and if your goal right for you. Is your goal really possible and do you really want it? You must be fully committed to achieve your goals because the best ones require a lot of work.
If you look at the beliefs and thoughts of champions and successful people you’ll see they all have very positive thoughts. To be a winner, you need to think like a winner. Here is a short list of some winning thoughts that all successful people have:
- You can learn to be a winner
- You can create your own future reality
- You can choose your beliefs
- Failure doesn’t exist
- Effort brings success
- The only limit to your success and happiness is you
- There is positive in everything
I hope that this page has inspired you to change your attitude and become more positive. I hope that this inspiration will turn into action that will transform you and improve your life. For even more help with your attitude and with building your self esteem and confidence please check out my e-book which will show you the way to a happier and more confident you.
Robert C. Atchley, 2007, “Ohio Longitudinal Study on Aging and Retirement, 1975-1995”, Harvard Dataverse, V1